Before You Snap

The other day I was studying Preach My Gospel, the manual that the church leaders have given us to help us become better missionaries. It's an incredible, inspired book. One of my favorite chapters in Preach My Gospel is chapter 6, which is on Christlike attributes. It has a section on faith, hope, charity and love, virtue, knowledge, patience, humility, diligence, and obedience. At the end of the chapter, it has this "Attribute Activity." It's a series of statements, and you then rate yourself on how true that statement is of you. It's a great way to evaluate yourself and to see where you can improve. I love it. Here's a link to that activity:

http://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/how-do-i-develop-christlike-attributes?lang=eng

(scroll to the bottom of the page, and choose "click to view larger")

So, I did this activity last week. Coming in LAST place by a long-shot was....wait for it ladies and gentlemen.... the Christlike attribute of PATIENCE. So that is what has been on my mind as of late.

As I've thought about patience, I've thought about it in two different categories. Patience with others, and patience with myself. Both of which I know I need to work on.

I think patience with others is the obvious one. When I hear "patience," that's what I think of first: being patient with those around me. The first thoughts that come to mind are "Okay, don't yell at the cars on the road, don't get frustrated when people don't call back right away, etc." Little moments of impatience like these can build up. Before you know it, you're like one of those big ol' tree branches under pressure, ready to snap at any moment. I've seen that with myself. And nobody likes it when you snap...

So as I've tried to improve, I've been a lot more aware of my own moments of ignorance, stupidity, or obliviousness. I recognize that sometimes--believe it or not--other people have to be patient with ME. Recognizing and remembering that has made a huge difference. It's caused me to hesitate before losing my patience with others. I've started giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're having a hard day, or perhaps they simply didn't see me. As I've done this, I've found that I am so much happier. I know there's a correlation between being patient with others and the level of peace and happiness we feel each day. So give it a try! Choose to be patient with people.

The kind of patience that was a little less obvious to me was patience with myself. One of the statements in this activity was "I am patient with myself and rely on the Lord as I work to overcome my weaknesses." When I read that, I realized that it definitely wasn't true of me. When I do realize I'm weak in some area or that I've slipped up and made a mistake, I get upset with myself. I furrow my brow and think about how bad I messed up and I tell myself "You had better not do that again, or else!"

We all know that nobody is perfect. "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" (Romans 3:23) But do we really believe that about ourselves? I don't think I did. I thought "Yeah, yeah nobody's perfect, but I shouldn't be making so many mistakes." I didn't realize it, but I was expecting perfection out of myself. I wasn't being patient with myself at all.

So I've since tried to have more patience with myself. Just like I had to hesitate before I snapped at others, I had to do the same with myself. When I mess up, I have tried to think constructively rather than destructively. I've realized it doesn't help at all to get mad at myself when I'm not perfect. Sometimes I feel like I have to; It's like I have to say to the Lord, "Hey, I'm not happy about this either!" But that's not the case. We must be patient with ourselves. Obviously we don't excuse our sins, but rather we repent, make a commitment to do better next time, and do all that with a smile on our face! I know this works. My whole mindset has changed as I've tried this. I'm so much happier :)

So there you have it. Patience. I've been so blessed as I've tried to develop this attribute, and I plan to keep working on it. I would encourage you to try it too! Hesitate before you snap. Choose to be patient.